coffee! musings

It has been found recently that coffee gives you the following:

1. chance to find company. ask a woman out. if you can tolerate her post the first cup, it is worth investing more time. else find a coffee shop that is quite and make love to a book.
2. Gossip: leads to reality check and then realisation that sometimes what you miss is not the coffee or the cup or the barista who served it, but the company. dont let go of company. lavazza sucks honest!
3. Increase in blood sugar levels: even when u use sugarfree. try it black with no sugar, eventually you will find that it is sweet too. the aftertaste - burnt or half golden roast and all that. keep it down to one cup a day, that way blood sugars will not get as high as you might not want it. Black is best, specially if it is with Alan Greenspan for company ( if you ask me who that is, you have lost your only chance)

I wrote 2 of my best works in coffee shops. First was chatroom blues written at the poky barista at FC road six years ago and the second was coffee shop tango written in a competition and abandoned at the end of it. I started something half intelligent and gave it away to others, it is called caferati. My relationship with coffee is enduring, it does not matter where I am i will take refuge in the comfort of a Barista or a CCD. Strange cities are tolerable when the same murky indifferent coffee is the same lipstick stained(!) is served by people who care less or do not know the difference between good or bad coffee.

Someone asked me why i have so many cups if coffee - answer is simple : i have lots of time to kill. I have books to read and I have people to observe. I like spending time talking poetry with people who understand poetry, like asking questions that are easier when u can look at the foamy muck and ignore the answer. People get close over coffee, people get ideas, romance is possible, flv servers are orgasmic when coffee is served and my CTO waxes eloquence.

And then coffee gets me into trouble too. Ask around and you will know. Ask me out for coffee? Do you want to really risk it? Coffee can make you fall in love. trust me, the others seem to think it that way. :)

little bit of insanity

one needs a little insanity to be a genius. yesterday we discovered we do not qualify.

cyclical life and such

It is back to the routine. I successfully broke the rhythm for 3 glorious days. Now it is back to routine. Live before.

I guess there is no such thing as dreaming for myself. There is no such thing as me. Am part of some whole. Either work or family, there is no place that says there is me.

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No Smoking!

The film I like. The concept I do love, but then why did it have to be the director's personal take on so many thing!!! (what the fuck! Why am I saying this, after all when the script was written the first time, the movie was enacted in Kashyap's mind and there on it was his version. Each time someone saw it was reinterpreted)

To watch this movie you need to shut yourself up from everyone. It is a very personal film. Smoking is just a metaphor. It could be pot, hash, porn, women, money anything. You get addicted and play games with yourself. You go down down down down into the depths of wallow. So when K goes down into the depth of Mumbai he actually is visiting hell.

He gets into a lab and is a lab rat, the satan watches over him constantly. until he is reduced to being a shell - the soul goes missing. K becomes human, he will entrap another animal to gain back his fingers. he will not smoke.

Very very bibilical. Someone asked what was Kashyap smoking when he wrote this movie. I assume he was on grass. He would not have written this if he were normal.

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Now you sunil r nair have to promise not to do what you did in the last week. You will not cherish what is not yours and will not try to win battles you know you cannot. You will not act like a fool. There is enough of that in the past to prove that you are a fool, we can do without it again.

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Monday mornings are the same everywhere.

rejection notes

i wrote,
in the earlier years
an escape
from utter hopelessness.

now
there is hope,

i think
i will discard
the words.

any more rejection notes
would just hurt my ego.

8/12/04

nextgen and musings

my next generation is here.

Over the weekend have driven some 300 odd kilometers one way to reach a temple built by the family that runs the Venky's brand of Chicken products. You have to drive down on the Pune - Mumbai highway cross Pune and go beyond for another 20 odd kilometers to reach a serene Balaji Temple.

I am not religious, for a large part of my life I thought I was a Protestant Christian. My grandfather, a preacher who never did do anything spectacular in life used to pray in a sing song way in the evening, while my dad a hard core Nair waited patiently. It was only when my sister reached her teens that my religion became an issue. Particularly when a family friend came to dad with an alliance for her - the prospective, unsolicited groom was a guy working with a small hotel as a bell hop, and the reason given for the kindness was that since my sister was a half breed she would never get a good boy! that did it for my dad. He became an overnight Hindu and did everything to ensure that a couple of years later he spent a bomb on getting sister married Hindu style. He must have slept easy. And we became a non secular Hindu family.

I got married hindu style, daughter's birth and naming was the same. I guess I want her to have some sort of an identity that she can stand by. Guess she will choose what she wants when she wants.

What I wanted to say here is that my next gen is here and how.

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Dual life will mean something - one here and one someplace else. One life here and one there. Multiple personality disorder.

foolish me!

I do not desire suffering;
yet fool I am,
I desire the cause of suffering!

(Shantideva)

twisted

twisted
rubber bands
with no shame
snapping when alls well!